


Cards

by roswyrm



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Gambling, Gen, Heavy Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Non-Graphic Violence, Wakes & Funerals, this isn’t nice or fluffy at all and IM SORRY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 09:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: The Heart of Aphrodite heals. And keeps healing. And keeps healing. And keeps healing. And keeps. Healing. But never anyone but her.A young woman who is much older and more scarred than she looks plays cards with an old man.





	Cards

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry man i was trying to write a fluffy adorable thing about sasha and grizzops friendship but then this happened and i’m so sorry i’m crying too guys

They play cards. That’s their little tradition. Whenever no new mission had come up, and they sat around in a hotel: they played cards. Whenever someone had gone missing: they played cards. Whenever someone got hurt so badly they needed intensive care for days: they played cards. 

”Raise two copper.” Grizzop’s right ear flicks (he’s bluffing) as he pushes the money forward. Sasha looks at her cards. She honestly has no idea whether or not she could win with this spread. It’s not _great_ , but it might be better than Grizzop’s. It might not. This gambling isn't real, doesn't count, it's all old party funds anyways.

(”SASHA!” Azu had screamed, just in time for her to turn and see the angry Not-Man with a knife. She had seen the kitchen knife sink deep into her friend’s gut. Her first thought had been, ”Well, that’ll scar.” Her second had been, ”Azu, oh gods, Azu.”)

She flourishes an Ace into her deck. Grizzop either doesn't notice or doesn't care. They play cards, Sasha cheats, Grizzop wins anyway. That's how they play. That's how they've always played.

(She thought she’d forgotten how to cry. She hadn't cried since she was six years old. But watching the cold, _closed_ casket of her-- no, not her boss, her _friend_ \--lower into the ground, there were tears on her cheeks. Of course, she started crying over Hamid. He wasn't there to cry for himself, now was he?)

Grizzop smacks her hand away from his chips without even looking at her. He’s staring out the window behind him. It’s a beautiful view, Sasha has to admit. Bertie wouldn’t have noticed. Azu would have started spouting something about the beauty of nature. Hamid would have cried over the sight. Zolf would have stared silently.

(She and Zolf don't talk. Too many memories. So many memories. Sometimes he would laugh low in his chest and she’d hear Azu. Sometimes she would cry, high and whimpering and weak into his shoulder and he’d hear Hamid. It's better that they don't talk.)

”You fold?” He asks her, and she looks at his face. At his eyes, which have faded from the deep red they once were to a sad, rusty brown. At the wrinkles creasing the sides of his face where he would always force his smiles out to, solely to aggravate whoever he was grinning at. 

(He’ll die of old age. He’s outlived a Human he knew for two days, an Orc he knew for three years, and a Halfling he knew for seven years, but he won't outlive Sasha.)

”I fold.”

The ace that would have won her the game lies face down on the table as the elderly Goblin rakes the silver and copper towards himself.

”Play again?”

They play cards. That’s their little tradition. 

It’s the least she can do for a dying man.

(She leaves a deck of playing cards on a tombstone. _Here Lies Grizzop drik Acht Amsterdam, Paladin of Artemis, who saved the world and could play a damn good round of poker_ it doesn’t say.) 

(She leaves a single, purple rose on a tombstone. _Here Lies Hamid Saleh Haroun al-Tahan, Sorcerer and Leader of the LOLOMG, who saved the world and gave excellent fashion advice_ it doesn’t say.)

(She leaves The Heart on a tombstone. _Here Lies Azu, Paladin of Aphrodite, who saved the world and gave the best hugs_ it doesn’t say.)

(There is no tombstone for her, these decades later, because she does not die. The Heart has fixed her, has kept fixing her, will keep fixing her even if she never touches it again. _Here Lies Sasha Rackett_ , she thinks, _Thief and Liar and Rogue and Antiques Appraiser. She saved the world, but she couldn’t save her friends_.

 _What good was she?_ )

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY!! I HURT MYSELF WITH THIS TOO YALL. come cry with me @roswell-the-wrongdoer


End file.
